Things you should NEVER say to an Army wife

I found this the other day and was laughing so hard. Most of you might not find this as funny as I do but I can totally relate. Please don't feel bad if any of you have said these things to me. I know none of you have ever meant any harm. And please don't take this too seriously, just maybe laugh a little at the funny things people say to us poor little army wives.

Things you should never say to an army wife:

1. “Aren’t you afraid that he’ll be killed?”
(This one ranks in at number one on the “duh” list. Of course we’re afraid. We’re terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds —but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they’re scared of dying.)

2. “I don’t know how you manage. I don’t think I could do it.”
(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here’s why: it’s not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we’d get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We’re not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.)

3. “At least he’s not in Afghanistan.”
(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Iraq. What do they think is happening in Iraq? An international game of golf? Guys are fighting and dying over there.)

4. “Do you think he’ll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?”
(Don’t you watch the news? No! They don’t get to come home for any of these things. Please don’t ask again.)

5. “What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he’s gone?”
(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there’s a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don’t get bored, and eating massive amounts of chocolate always helps keep me busy.)

6. “How much longer does he have until he can get out?”
(This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren’t counting down the days until they “can” get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq b/c there is work that needs to be done.)

7. “This deployment shouldn’t be so bad, now that you’re used to it.”
(Sure, we do learn coping skills and its true the more deployments you’ve gone through, the easier dealing with it becomes. But it never gets “easy” and the bullets and bombs don’t skip over our guys just because they’ve been there before. The worry never goes away.)

8. “My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you’re going through.”
(This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband’s three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 12-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a shitty ford taurus with mercedes convertible.)

9. “Wow you must miss him?”
(This one also gets another big “duh”. Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they’re now divorced.)

10. “Well, he signed up for it, so it’s his own fault whatever happens over there."
(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn’t sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that “You’re welcome.” He’s still fighting for your freedom.)

11. “Don’t you miss sex! I couldn’t do it!”
(hmmm, no i don’t miss sex. i’m a robot. seriously…military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices and seeing their faces. The hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn’t withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.)

12. “Well in my opinion…..”
(Stop right there. Yo, I didn’t ask for your personal political opinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not at DQ, not at Target and not in a restaurant when I’m out with my girls trying to forget the war.)

last but not least….

13. “OH, that’s horrible…I’m so sorry!”
(He’s doing his job and he’s tough. Don’t be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our soldiers fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)

If you want to say anything, say thank you. After all, we are sexually deprived for your freedom.

Everyday Chores

And now it begins...Plenty of rain + lots of sunshine = growing grass! Playing "single mommy" to small boys and mowing the lawn don't mix very well. Yesterday my dad emailed me and told me he would stop by after work. Thank you, dad!! He spent quality time with the boys while I got some exercise and mowed the lawn. I have to admit that our lawn looks like a work of art - it's beautiful! Now we just have to see if we can make this a weekly ritual for the next several months or until we sell our house...which ever comes first!

For those of you preparing for deployment you might want to think about responsibilities like mowing the lawn, snow removal, etc. Ask friends and family to take turns helping you out. Hire someone for the season or as needed. American Legions, VFWs, local rotary clubs are all very good resources. They will know people available to help with almost anything. Your FRG will also have several resources for you.

Success!

I'm happy to announce the party was a hit! I was pleasantly surprised to see almost everyone showed up. We had plenty of food for everyone (including cake - what's a party without cake?). I bought postcards so people could fill them out. Once my husband is overseas and we have his address I'll send them over to him. It's always nice getting FUN mail, but it's even better when it's from someone you don't hear from that often. We had a wonderful time catching up with friends and relatives we haven't seen in a LONG time! Too bad we can't get together more often - under better circumstances.

A Very Special THANK YOU to:

• The Homewood Suites for letting us use their party room at no charge. They were SO helpful and wonderful to work with!
• Tiny Prints for waiving the Rush shipping fees on our adorable invitations.
• Cash Wise Foods for giving us a $25 gift card for the cake.
• My friends and relatives who helped make this day possible!

My husband had a great time! Even though he wasn't sure about a party in the beginning, he was so very happy that we had one!

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Party Preparation Continues

The invitations have been ordered so it's official now!! A very special THANK YOU to Tiny Prints! They said they would Super Rush the order to us for free because they were for a deploying soldier's going away party. I have to say Tiny Prints has SUPER AWESOME customer service and I highly recommend them.  This is the card we went with (except we switched the information about the 4th of July).   

Now on to the party planning. I'm going to buy post cards so people can write them out and I can send them once we have his address. People can wish him well and not worry about postage or trying to remember to send it out. Now I just have to go find some fun post cards!!

I'm trying to think of food and decorations next. I think we'll be sticking with the red, white and blue theme. Any suggestions?

A Special Thank You To ???

My husband works full time for the military so he wears his uniform everyday. The other night we went to dinner at a little, local cafe and were surprised when the waitress told us our bill had been paid by another guest. I've heard stories about things like this, but it's never happened to us. Thank you to everyone out there who supports our troops and their families. We appreciate it very much! 

Deployment Bling

A deployment bracelet was on my wish list for 2 reasons:
1. I want to show my support for my husband and our troops!
2. I think they're super cute!


My Bracelet - LOVE IT!!

Sheree (from Beadwork by Sheree) was nice enough to make a bracelet for me. I knew by looking at the bracelets online that I'd LOVE it, but it's SO much better in person. The sterling silver beads are bright and shiny and the colored crystals are vibrant! I love the fact that you can personalize these bracelets any way you want...you can put your soldier's name on it or you can do a Support Our Troops bracelet. There are also several (I mean A LOT of) charms to choose from that will make the bracelet yours. Once you finally decide what charms you want and what you want it to say you have one more decision...what kind of clasp do you want? I opted for the lobster clasp so I don't have to worry about losing it. Wha-laa, you're done! Now you just need to wait for it in the mail! Oh, did I mention you get FREE SHIPPING?

Sheree gives 10% from each Deployment Bracelet® sold to the USO. She chose the USO because they cover both the soldiers and their families. She also likes that they cater to all the branches of the military. Charitable giving is a large part of who she is and the donations she gives from the Deployment Bracelets® is just a small way she can show her support.

Sheree came up with the idea of the Deployment Bracelet® when her close friend's husband was going to be deployed in 2002. Her friend's reaction to the bracelet is what made her decide to make it available to others. Sheree's hope is that the bracelet will make people feel a little more in touch with their deployed loved one and at the same time it shows their loved one that they are being supported. She takes a digital photo of each bracelet she makes and sends it to the customer. They can then send the photo on to those who are deployed via email so they can actually see what the bracelet looks like. She also offers Men's and Children's bracelets.

Thank you, Sheree!! I love it and so does my husband!!

 *I received a free Deployment Bracelet® to keep in order to form an opinion. I was not compensated in any other manner. The opinions expressed above are my own and any claims should be verified on the sponsor’s site. Actual experience may vary. A special THANK YOU to Beadwork by Sheree for allowing me to review this product!